Diocese of Parramatta

The 5 Love Languages

5 love langauagesLove languages can aid the ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’ situation. Men and women can understand each other better by ‘speaking’ the other’s love language which can fill up that person’s ‘love tank’. If reciprocated, both parties will feel loved and this can provide an environment for a happier and less stressful life.

Dr. Gary Chapman has written a popular book called ‘The Five Love Languages’, with over 10 million copies sold! He writes about five love languages that people ‘speak’, 5 ways to express love.

These are:

Words of Affirmation

Receiving Gifts

Acts of Service

Quality Time

Physical Touch

Each person has a primary love language, while the other four rank in order of importance, decreasing as they go. If people are speaking the other’s primary love language either through words of affirmation, giving of gifts, acts of service done to them, quality time spent with them, or through touch, the other person will feel loved the most more than if any of the other love languages are ‘spoken’ to that person. Sometimes the other four rank close to the primary love language but sometimes the gap between them is wide. For example: if a person’s last ranking love language is gifts and other people shower them with gifts, they might not feel loved as much as somebody spending quality time with them-as that is the person’s primary love language.

People might show love according to their own primary language, not knowing what the other person’s primary love language is. If it’s not the same, this can result in the other person’s feeling unloved, which can cause their love tank to becoming emptier every day. Problems can arise- sometimes to the surprise of the other.

After the success of his first book: ‘The Five Love Languages‘, Gary Chapman wrote others:  ‘The Five Love Languages for Singles’, ‘The Five Love Languages for Families, ‘The Five Love Languages for Children’, ‘The Five Love Languages for Men’, ‘The Five Love Languages for Teenagers and many other resources for married couples, military personnel, school students, church groups, etc….

Therefore how do you find out what your primary love language and that of your spouse, friend, child, colleague, is? Fill out the questionnaire available on The 5 Love Languages website, as well as browse through the free tools and resources available at: www.5lovelanguages.com/

Learn your love language as well as others and start speaking their love language today!


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